Hustle and Flow
by Tarzje
Summary: Sara wakes up after a great night with her new girlfriend, only her new girlfriend doesn't agree with the 'girlfriend status'. CathSara?
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** _Hustle and Flow (1?)_

**Author:** _Maaike_

**Pairing:** _C/S_

**Disclaimers:** _CSI and all things related to the show are not mine. I do not own the characters used in my story, I'm only using them to entertain myself and my fellow CSI fans. The title "Hustle and Flow" is borrowed from a movie with that name that recently came out here in Spain, the story has nothing to do whatsoever with the movie (at least, I think, I haven't seen the movie)._

I woke up with a big smile on my face. The memories of last night were filling my mind with delight. I had waited so long for this to happen, so many nights alone dreaming of it and finally it happened. I kept my eyes closed, just to let my mind go over last night's events once again. I felt so incredibly happy, something I haven't felt before in my whole life. Maybe if I had enough time before work, I could show my gratitude to the person lying in bed next to me.

After a while I decided to open my eyes and turn to the person who had caused all my happiness. When I turned I realised the bed was empty, I had woken up alone. How come I hadn't noticed when she left the bed? Had it all been a dream? The side next to me did look like someone slept there. Worried that my mind was playing tricks on me, I got up and looked around. I found my clothes spread all over the bedroom floor, which was definitely not something I did with my clothes before going to sleep. I figured that same person would be around somewhere, maybe in the kitchen, making a delicious breakfast.

Within no time, the smile returned to my face. It had definitely happened, I had not been dreaming. When I walked into the living room, I saw the two glasses and a bottle of wine on the table. Both glasses were still half full, we sure didn't waste any time last night. I smirked at myself; I would have never thought this was happen. My smirk faded when I noticed I was totally alone. My lover hadn't even left a note or a sign.

I heard my alarm clock going off in my bedroom. I still had one hour before I had to be at work. I took a shower, wondering why my lover had left. Normally I love taking showers, they really clear my head, but today it was more like torture. A million questions popped up in my mind, had I done something wrong? It almost felt as if I had washed away all the good memories with my shower.

In the car, on my way to work, they all came back though. In full force I might add, changing my mood 90 degrees. I ended up walking into the Las Vegas Crime Lab with a smile, not caring about the weird looks I got. Yeah, so normally I don't smile, so what? It's not like I'm not able to smile!

I made my way to the break room, getting myself a well deserved coffee. My colleague and good friend Greg walked in not long after I did.

"WOW, someone got laid," he exclaimed with a smile as he poured himself a coffee, "Care to fill me in on the details?" he said as he plopped down on the couch next to me.

I give him a death glare, hoping he will back off. I am not ready to share any details, first I will have to talk to the person who made those memories with me. I would like to know where we stand now.

"Well, I guess that means a no," Greg wisely says as he starts sipping his coffee.

I decide to work on my poker face before the rest of my colleagues come in. I don't want to have any more of those 'Greg-like' questions. Nick and Warrick come in together, like they always do and like always they were having a discussion about sports. I wonder which sport it is this time, probably baseball, since the Yankees played yesterday. I vaguely remember the game being on TV in the bar I was at, but of course I was otherwise engaged so to speak.

I wondered where Catherine was when Grissom showed up and there was still no sign of her.

"Warrick, suspicious circs at the Mirage, take Greg with you," Grissom started as he handed my laid back colleague his assignment slip. "Nick, you're with me, we have a DB in Henderson," he said as he waved the other assignment slip at him.

I look up at my boss, wondering why I didn't get an assignment.

"Sara, I want you to help Catherine with paperwork," he says as he follows Nick out of the room.

Now, normally I would be seriously pissed off, I would feel like I had been grounded. But today, I was actually kind of glad I got to stay at the Lab, with Catherine of all people. I'd have some time to talk to her, get some information about where I stand with her. I mean last night was great and I'm sure she had fun as well, but since then I haven't heard a thing from her. She did not even come into the break room to greet me. I have to say I was getting a bit nervous.

With my semi self-confident pace, I march to Catherine's office, several different openings running through my head. I decide on opening her door, with confidence of course, sit down in front of her and just start talking. That plan goes right out of the window as I see her door is already open, I hesitate before deciding to go on with my plan but without the opening the door with confidence part.

"Hey Sara, come in," Catherine says.

Well there goes the rest of my plan.

"Hey. I erm, can I talk to you for a second?" I ask her politely. She is showing no sign of affection, but that is probably because we are at work.

She looks gorgeous though and I really can't wait to get my hands on her again, or my lips for that matter. I realize I have drifted off as I see Catherine staring at me as if she wants me to say something.

"Sara? What did you want to talk to me about?" She asks as if she already asked me the same question for five times.

"About us," I blurt out. I wanted to start subtle, but I guess it's too late for that now.

"Us?" Catherine says as she gets up and closes the door, "Sara, honey, what do you mean?"

I look at her in disbelief and see her raise one eyebrow at me.

"Well, you know, last night," I say, getting more and more nervous. I don't know whether it's because she is so close to me I can smell her or because she seems to be denying the existence of an "us".

Catherine chuckles. "Ah," she says, putting a finger just under my collarbone, tracing it around. "What happened last night doesn't make us, us," she says.

My mood, heart and everything sinks. She played me, just like she does with all those men in her life.

I decide to not make things any worse and turn around. I will find myself an assignment until something else comes in, or one of the guys gets back.

"Sara!" I hear her shout after me as I pace down the hall.

As I walk further, I hear the click-clack of her heals, she is following me.

"Sara!" She shouts, lower this time because she is near me.

"Leave me alone Catherine," I say as I almost slam the door in her face. I can't face her right now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Hustle and Flow (2?)

**Author:** Maaike

**Pairing:** C/S

**Disclaimers:** See chapter 1.

The door opens behind me; Catherine Willows is a very persistent woman, who always gets what she wants. Almost always…

"We had fun didn't we? Isn't that what counts?" she said to me, her voice softer and sweeter than it was before.

"You have a whole different definition of fun than I do Catherine," I reply, maybe sounding harsher than I intended, but she had hurt me. She didn't deserve seeing my soft side.

"Well when you screamed my name, I'm sure that wasn't out of pain or despair," she smirked; I could see that she was remembering that exact moment and she was proud of it. She was proud that she had conquered me, or however she called it in her mind. "We should do it again sometime Sara; I really had a good time."

"There is no we, Catherine and what happened the last night, will never happen again," I say, putting my hands on my sides, showing her I mean business.

"Oh come on Sara, don't be a spoilsport," she says as she puts her hand on my arm.

I jerk away, "What that night meant to you, is different from what it meant to me. That's why it can never happen again. You will never understand what it meant to me. We live in different worlds Catherine; we don't even speak the same language."

"Then how come I understand you Sara?" She almost bites back, it seems she really wants a repeat of the other night, but that is not going to happen. I'm not a toy, not some teddy you can pick up if you want it and toss it away when you don't.

"You don't Catherine; if you did you wouldn't have left like you did! When I woke up and found your side of the bed empty, I thought it was all just a dream. I got up with a smile though, looking for you, but you were nowhere to be found!" She so does not speak the same language as I do; she thinks all this is just a silly game. I'm embarrassed now; I look at the floor, afraid to face her.

She puts her finger under my chin, lifting my face up. Her face has changed, she looks like something finally clicked and she understands me.

"I'm sorry Sara; I didn't know you felt that way," she says as she puts a strand of hair behind my ear.

I almost believe her, almost that is. Just until the moment she slowly moves forward to kiss me.

I step back and look at her in disbelief, I can't believe this woman. What is she playing at? I'm trying to hold back my tears; once again I've been played. This is the second time I got played by the same woman. I turn around to hide the first drops rolling down my cheek, I almost run to the door, wanting to get as far away from Catherine as I can. I got reminded once again, that I'm not meant to be happy.

Apparently I don't run fast enough because once again Catherine catches up with me.

"Sara," she says as she grabs my arm.

I turn around and am about to spit some nasty words at her as my mouth seems to be otherwise engaged. Catherine is kissing me full on, licking my lips with her tongue. Oh no, this is not happening. I pull back, panting I might add. If I'm going to protest now, it won't look very convincing.

"See, you like it as well," she says, panting a little herself.

"What do you want from me?" I ask her, still shocked about, or maybe enjoying, her kiss.

Catherine rolls her eyes and I think she is about to say 'duh'. "I think I made that quite clear just now Sara," she says with a smirk.

Ok, she wants me. Damn! She wants me, but only for the sex, not because it's me. And I do not agree with that, do I?

As if Catherine sees my struggle she starts to speak. "Listen, you know, just as I do, that there is no way we can be in a relationship. I have Lindsay, we both have this job and we are both women."

As if that's an explanation. Last night she didn't mind I was a woman. "But," I start, but she doesn't listen and continues talking.

"I like you Sara, I really do. I'm sorry I made you think there was more though, I hope I didn't hurt you."

With her looking at me that way, it's very hard to say she did indeed hurt me.

"Say something Sara, please, tell me we can continue seeing each other?"

My heart is beating a mile a minute, is she really asking me to be her fuck buddy? I think my jaw is about to drop to the floor and my eyeballs are on the verge of popping out.

"Erm," I manage to say, well if you can call that saying something. I shake my head and see the hurt look on Catherine's face, oh no, we don't want that.

"I have to think about that. Can you give me some time?" I ask her.

"How much time?" She asks me, caressing my arm with her hand.

"I will let you know when I know the answer," I say as I turn around.

I walk around the Lab without an actual destination, mumbling to myself. Catherine wants to sleep with me, but she doesn't want a relationship. What do I want? Hmm, I want to sleep with Catherine too, but I do want a relationship. I'm not the type of person for one night stands or for fuck buddies. Does one need to be the type of person to do that? I wonder what harm it will do if I just agree with her, maybe she will fall for me in the end and we end up having a wonderful relationship. Then I realise that I'm pulling the strings, might as well use my position and make her wait a little.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Hustle and Flow (3?)

**Author:** Maaike

**Pairing:** C/S

**Disclaimers:** See chapter 1.

**Author's Note:** I'd like to thank my new beta, Emma.

I'm sitting in my favourite lab, that over the years got labelled 'my lab', when Greg comes in holding a huge bouquet of flowers. I look up and unconsciously raise my eyebrow; did Greg really get me flowers?

"Special delivery for Miss Sara Sidle," Greg says as he puts the flowers on my desk.

"Who sent them to me?" I ask him, moving in my seat and chuckling, "Greg, don't tell me they are from you."

Greg turns beet red and laughs uncomfortably, "No, I'm going to have to disappoint you, they are not mine. They are from a guy named C. who misses you."

Funny how he assumes it is a guy, I know better. I do try to hide my excitement though.

"You read the card?" I ask him in disbelief. My voice is louder than normal and Greg almost cringes.

"I was curious," Greg says, suddenly looking at the floor. Jeeze, that man is worse than paparazzi when it comes to gossip.

I know very well who this 'guy' named C. is and I smile at the thought of that person.

"I'm sorry Sara; I'll buy you a beer after shift, ok?"

"No problem Greg, I'll see you in an hour then," I say, trying to shoo Greg out of the lab.

As soon as he exits I close the door and sniff the flowers. Catherine is trying to woo me and I'll be damned but it's working.

The same morning, just before the end of shift, I find myself in Catherine's office. You know that song 'you had me from hello'? Well Catherine had me from before that. She smiles at me just before greeting me and that's all she really needs to do. How could I deny this woman?

She wants to come to my place after shift, but I tell her I'm going for a drink with Greg first. Her smile changes a little, but it's still there nonetheless. She tells me to come to her place after my drink with Greg. The way she tells me she'll be waiting for me makes me wish I had said no to Greg.

I don't think I have ever been this distant to Greg. He is enthusiastically telling me about this new 'chick' he met, but I haven't really heard a word of what he is saying. My mind is with Catherine. I quickly down my beer and tell Greg I'm tired. I have to go to Catherine's house, I have to see her.

My hands are sweaty and my heart is thumping in my chest. I don't think I have ever been this nervous. Was I this nervous last night? Hmm I don't really remember, I just remember…. Well, let's not go there.

I don't really know how I got my ass to Catherine's house, but I do know I probably broke every traffic law out there and I'm very lucky I didn't get caught. I'm standing in Cath's driveway and suddenly I start getting very insecure. What's wrong with me? I mean, it's not like I haven't slept with her before. I'm just going in for a nice roll in the hay and then I'm out, no strings attached, just like she wants it.

Whoa! There it is, just like SHE wants it. But do I want this? Hell, of course I want to have sex with her, I mean she is beautiful, intelligent and very, very sexy to boot. But do I want this one night thing? Do I want to be her fuck buddy?

Before I get the chance to change my mind, Catherine is standing in the doorway. She has changed; she is now wearing jeans and a simple tank top. Even in casual clothes she looks great.

"Are you coming in?" She says with a smile. I'm still not sure but I walk towards her anyway.

I'm nervous. The whole deal; sweaty palms, pumping veins in the neck, heart beating like crazy. The worst thing is that she knows and she is enjoying it. She is giving me the once over, not that I look special though. I didn't even change after shift. Come to think of it, I smell like bar. Suddenly I get even more nervous. I reek of beer and cigarette smoke, how on earth is she going to want to make love to me right now? Oh wait, it's not called making love, I should label it has having sex as she does not have any other feelings for me except physical attraction.

My nerves are gone the second I walk into her house. She closes the door and pushes me against it. Before I know it her lips are on mine, claiming me. At first I let myself sink into this incredible sensation. Being pressed against the door, this gorgeous woman all over me. It really is too bad she only wants me for the sex.

That's when my feelings decide to start nagging me. I know I'm not the type of person for a one-night stand, but this doesn't classify as one, right? We will be doing this more often, I hope. I also know that this means more to me than it does to Catherine, for her it's probably just an outlet, for me it's much more than that.

In spite of my feelings, I kiss her back. My hands are all over her, the need to touch her is way bigger than my need to get out of this while I still can. Her skin is soft; it seems to burn under my touch, it's almost sensual.

Catherine places her thigh in between my legs and lifts it, causing a very pleasant friction. As her hands start playing with my breasts all my cognitive senses are concentrating on that. I no longer have time to think. Thinking is overrated anyway. She knows just how and where to touch me, to bring me higher than I thought I could go. I am totally lost in pure bliss and I'm still in my clothes.

"Bedroom," Catherine mumbles in between kisses.

The kisses have become more urgent, more claiming. Not that Catherine really needs to claim me; I was hers the second she showed interest in me. She is suddenly sucking on the pulse point in my neck, I answer her with a low growl. My animal instincts are taking over from my human thoughts and I grab her hard before kiss her forcefully.

This only seems to encourage Catherine more; she is unbuttoning my shirt while pulling me with her to the bedroom. I don't care where she is taking me as long as she is taking my shirt off and getting her hands on me.

For some reason we pause and I look into Catherine's eyes. They are filled with want, but do I see something else there? Is that passion? Love? As quickly as the flash of feelings appeared it's gone and once again she has her hands all over me.

"Cath?" I ask.

She doesn't respond, instead she claims my mouth with hers. I push her back slightly, I want to talk to her.

"Cath," I say again, more urgent now.

"What, Sara?" She answers, panting.

She is one hell of a sight. Her hair is hanging loosely and is totally messed up, she has a blush that doesn't only cover her cheeks, she is panting and her lips are swollen. My animal instinct tells me to dive right in, but my brain tells me that I need to know. Damn my brain for speaking up on a moment like this.

"Do you feel anything, Cath?" I ask her.

"Hell yeah Sara, I feel damn horny," she says as she latches onto my breasts.

I would've gone on with this, but the dagger in my heart won't let me. I push her away and again she looks at me.

"I can't do this Cath, I'm sorry," I say. I need to get out of here.

"Sara!" I hear her call after me, but I have to go. This is not my thing, this is not me.

"Sara!" I hear again, just before I slam the door.

I can't do this. I'm in love with Catherine Willows and I feel too much for her to be her fuck buddy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Hustle and Flow (4?)

**Author:** Maaike

**Pairing:** C/S

**Disclaimers:** See chapter 1.

**A/N:** Thanks to my wonderful beta Emma, who is doing a great job! And I hope you guys are still with me, real life (read: school) is getting in the way :(

I can't help but wondering how Catherine feels. I mean, what I did to her was really nasty. It would be in the dictionary under 'low blow'. I didn't mean to treat her like that, though. I really wanted to try but I couldn't. I finally had the chance to bed her and I walked away. Some womanizer I am. I guess I'm too much of a wuss to have a one night stand… So much for me being an ice queen. The whole world seems to think that, but I'm far from it, actually.

I hesitate before entering the lab. I spotted Catherine's car and my heart started racing. Why does this woman get to me so much? Why does she make me do this? I wish I could just change her mind. I mean feelings can grow, right? And I'm sure we won't get fired for being in a gay relationship. That would be discrimination, so it's not likely to happen. As for Lindsey, well I'm sure I can work that out. I've never been on bad terms with the little munchkin so I don't see why she wouldn't accept me.

I seriously need to get myself checked; I have never known myself to be so naïve. How can I be stupid enough to think Catherine would actually like me for me? I mean, I am not an interesting or attractive person, especially not for someone like Catherine.

As I enter the break room I am greeted by the sweet aroma of Greg's coffee. Nothing could prepare me for what was about to happen, though. Not even Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee, and that says a lot! Catherine comes storming into the break room with such force that she would have blown out the door if it wasn't open. She was breathing heavily as if she ran to the lab instead of taking the car. Although I know better. It is probably out of rage.

"You. My office. NOW," she says before barging out again.

That was quite clear. I think that with my stupidity last night I might have started World War III. I shake my head at my own ideas. How could I have thought I could push my feelings aside to please….to please who, exactly?

This is the moment where she is going to tell me that I need to transfer, that it's time for me to go as far away as possible. This is the moment where she is going to literally kick me out of this building or drag me out by my hair. I wouldn't blame her if she actually did that, though.

I walk into Catherine's office and just stare at her. I have no idea what to say; somehow I don't think 'sorry' would cut it right now. And I don't even think I'm sorry. Although I am sorry for being stupid enough to think I could do a one night stand with her.

"Close the door," she orders. She is so calm now that it is almost eerie.

I close the door and as I turn around to face her wrath, I bump into her. Before I know it she is all over me, touching, kissing, licking, nipping. She is driving me totally crazy. This is completely wrong, not only because it's Catherine and she doesn't want me like I want her, but we are at work. I'm about to protest when she places her thigh in between my legs.

Even faster than she was all over me, she retreats and sits on the chair behind her desk. Just like that, leaving me leaning against the door, panting. She is not totally unaffected herself, but she had the chance to prepare for the situation, I was caught off guard and I look at her, wondering what the hell she just did.

"Payback's a bitch, Sidle," she says with a poker face. "You can go now."

I want to say a lot of things and I try to say them, more than once. But nothing comes out and I look like a fish gasping for air. I am totally stunned by what Catherine just did to me. At work, for crying out loud! Instead of trying to speak I just turn around and walk away.

Who the hell does she think she is? I know I was wrong last night, but I didn't do it on purpose, for fuck's sake! She is still totally playing me and I, the ever so stupid Sara Sidle, just keep falling for it. Great, Sidle! She's got your wrapped around her little finger.

I stop dead in my tracks and turn around. I need to apologize to Catherine for what happened last night. Then maybe we can talk about what we are going to do about this situation. No wait. I'm going to give it to her straight. There is no more time for talking; it's time she starts listening to me. Right now.

As I enter her office… well, it's more like barging in, she looks at me with surprise. Ha, she probably thought I would back down after she 'shut me up', but that's not how a Sidle works. I've been backing down for way too long just to keep her happy and now it's time for her to stop walking over me like she has been doing the past while.

I give her no time to speak up or even think about something she could say.

"This has got to stop," I walk up to her desk and it feels as if I'm towering over her. It feels good, actually, and there is no way I'm sitting down.

"You can't play with me, I'm a human being with feelings!" Ok, the firm tone in my voice has been replaced with a more insecure tone. Bad start.

Catherine takes off her glasses and folds her hands neatly in front of her. She is radiating calmness and self-composure, something I do not have at the moment. I'm fuming, I'm hurt, I'm horny and I'm so very tired of all this.

"You got played at your own game, Sidle. Deal with it," she says calmly. Although I can hear in her voice that she is about to lose that composure.

I lean over the desk, not to intimidate her, but to make my point. "Last night was not a game. This whole thing," I stress the last part by waving my finger in between us, "has not been a game. I care about you, I want to be with you…"

I was going somewhere with my point, but Catherine cuts me off.

"Then what is the problem?"

Oh Jesus, how did she become a CSI? I thought it was obvious.

"Since we talked, I've done a lot of thinking, Cath. I thought that it would be better to be with you on your terms than to not be with you at all. Only my heart didn't agree with that. I can't be your fuck buddy, I can't be on the other side of the phone when you make a bootie call. I want more from you, and since I can't have it, I think it is best we don't talk about it anymore and just leave it like it is"

While I was giving my speech Catherine's mouth opened and closed a few times. Good, she is finally listening to me without interrupting. When I'm done, though, I want her to say something. I want her to tell me she agrees with me, or even better, that she doesn't agree with me and wants to start a relationship with me. Yeah, like that is going to happen. Catherine Willows isn't able to have a relationship with someone that extends beyond being fuck buddies.

Instead of giving me the satisfaction of a proper answer, the elusive Miss Willows says nothing. Nada. Absolutely zilch. I don't think I have ever seen this woman speechless and I have to say, it gives me a feeling of accomplishment. Although this moment is breaking my heart, it just proves that I will never be with her. Life's a bitch.

Suddenly it seems as if she comes to life. She is about to say something, but we are rudely interrupted by Warrick entering Catherine's office.

"Sorry to disturb, ladies. We've got a DB and Grissom told me to take you with me, Sara," he smiles at me apologetically.

To my surprise Catherine nods, giving him the go ahead. I'm too stunned to actually react, I just turn around and follow Warrick. Well, at least I got to say what I wanted to say. I don't think that speaking my mind has ever left me feeling this dissatisfied. Will this be the end of the truce between Catherine and I? Will we go back to being the bickering bitches of the Crime Lab? God, I hope not. I don't think I can handle that again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** Hustle and Flow (5?)

**Author:** Maaike

**Pairing:** C/S

**Disclaimers:** See chapter 1.

It has been a few weeks since Warrick interrupted Sara and I. There was so much unsolved tension between us, the talk we were about to have was very necessary. But we were at work and Sara needed to go on a case. We haven't talked since, not because we didn't have the chance, but because we both did our best to ignore each other. Or at least that's how I see it.

The situation between us is very weird. I just assumed Sara knew it was just a one-night thing. I mean, I don't think that, as our boss, Ecklie would let us get away with having a relationship. Not that I want a relationship with Sara, I'm attracted to her, yes, but it's a purely physical thing.

When she told me the day after she had feelings for me it shocked me at first, but I was extremely flattered. Instead of showing compassion I tried to kiss her again. Sometimes I think with my hormones like a guy. What a fucking stupid move. Instead of talking everything out, I asked her if she wanted to get together again. At the time it seemed the right thing to ask, considering I really liked being with her. Being with Sara is like those romantic, sappy movies where the guy- well, girl in this case- gives you so much attention and looks at you with so much admiration that you feel like a queen. When Sara looked at me naked, I felt like a top model, a queen and a lady all packed into one. She looked at me with such reverence that I felt I was about to melt into a puddle of jell-o. The look in her eyes made me feel so special; I think I got addicted to it. That's why I wanted to get her into my bed again.

I talked to her about it, using her feelings to get what I wanted. She said she'd think about it. It didn't take her long to think about it, because when I sent her flowers, she came to my office to set a time for a new 'date'. That night Lindsey was staying at Nancy's place because Jeremy had a birthday party and he had invited his big cousin. It was a perfect opportunity, so I invited Sara to my house.

I had been waiting in the kitchen. From there I could see the whole street and anyone pulling into my driveway. I saw Sara getting out of the car and she looked lost for a moment. I hurried to the door because I was afraid she would bolt. I think that if I hadn't done that she would have actually left. She was scared of something. I promised myself I would find out what she was scared of, after, of course, getting this beautiful woman into my bed. Sara doesn't know it, but she is very beautiful. I like the kind of raw beauty she has. And the fact that she doesn't know she is attractive makes her extra cute.

Little did I know she would leave me all hot and bothered. It started well. She came in and we immediately kissed. Well, I kissed her, but she responded eagerly. Suddenly she panicked and left. Man, I was pissed off. I still wonder what the hell she was thinking, coming to my house and then leaving me like that. She told me before she didn't play games. Well, the game was on.

When I 'got her back' the next day at work, I regretted it the second it happened. I was toying with Sara Sidle, which was probably the most idiotic idea I've had in a long while. I saw in her eyes that I had hurt her, I knew she had feelings for me that I didn't have for her and still I did what I did. I wanted to apologize but it just didn't happen.

Sara had been moping around for a while, taking most of it out on Greg. The poor guy didn't know what was happening to him. I invited him for breakfast last week because I felt sorry for him; Sara should be taking her anger out on me.

So that's basically where Sara and I stand right now. We went from lovers back to square one. The animosity between us had never been stronger, and even the guys were starting to pick up on it. The guys write it off on us having had another fight, but unfortunately nothing is further from the truth. I wish it was just a fight, then the whole thing would just blow over in a couple of days. Now it seems like I have lost Sara forever. I'm starting to regret what I did more and more each day.

Sara seems to be over it, though. The past few days she's smiled an awful lot. I wake up out of my daydreaming as I walk past Greg's lab and see the subject of my thoughts talking to him. He doesn't look scared; he is actually smiling at Sara. Her phone rings and she picks up, turning away from Greg. Now, that is interesting. Since when does Sara take personal calls at work?

I can't hear what she is saying, but she is glowing and smiling again. This can't be good. I try to get closer without being noticed, but when I finally get within earshot I only hear her saying goodbye.

Greg is wiggling his eyebrows while imitating a Cheshire cat smile.

"So, who is this "Chris"? A hot date?" he asks Sara, who suddenly looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

"No, and that's none of your business anyway." Sara answers.

Ok, so Chris IS a hot date. I can't believe she actually thinks we don't know that by now. Greg, being the smart guy he is sometimes, drops the subject and starts talking about the results he has for her. I, on the other hand, just got very curious. Was Sara dating someone? And more importantly, was Sara dating a man? I thought she only dated women.

I decide to clock out, since my case has reached a standstill. It's well into Saturday already and I really feel like spending some time with Lindsey. I just want to forget about Sara for a while. I don't understand why she is still on my mind anyway. It's not like I want her to be my girlfriend… at least I don't think I do. I shake my head, trying to forget about Sara before getting into my car and driving off.

Lindsey is practically squealing as I pick her up at Nancy's place. I had told her that she would have to spend the day at her aunt's because I had to work, so me showing up was a big surprise. I'll do anything to put a smile on my little girl's face. Her smile just warms my heart. She is all I need to wind down from work. We decide on going for ice cream and then visiting the mall to buy her some new clothes. Lindsey is a very smart girl, but today she doesn't notice I'm a bit off- probably because she was so excited.

My daughter is quite the chatterbox; she can talk a mile a minute. Her new best friend is Chloe, a girl from her class that I have seen before. Lindsey has a new best friend every couple of weeks so sometimes it is hard to keep up. Chloe's mom apparently has a girlfriend, which, according to Lindsey, is 'awesome'. I guess now I no longer need to worry about telling her that I swing both ways.

When we get home, both carrying as many bags as we can, we plop down on the couch for a movie. Lindsey asks if she can call Chloe to tell about her day and I let her. I need to unpack the groceries and start cooking. I can hear my little girl talking on the phone; she is raising her voice because she is overexcited. I find myself unintentionally listening to the conversation.

"Oh my God, Chloe! You are like the luckiest person EVER! I can't believe your mom's girlfriend is taking you to the zoo!" Lindsey gasps.

Chloe sounds so enthusiastic that I can almost hear her talking from the kitchen. It's like the little girl is sitting on the living room couch with Linds.

"So, is she like your second mom now?" Linds asks. I lean in closer, I am very curious.

"Yeah, I understand, but still, she is like your friend now."

It is silent again, Linds is listening to Chloe's rant over the phone.

"Oh! That would be sooo cool! I'll go ask my mom, hang on," Lindsey says before putting the phone on the table. She is coming this way so I have to act busy.

"Mom?"

"Yes, honey?" I answer. Lindsey wants something from me, that's obvious.

"Chloe's mom's girlfriend, who isn't her second mom, is taking Chloe to the zoo and they asked if I want to come too."

"Let me talk to Chloe's mother," I say, following a jumping Lindsey to the living room.

Lindsey quickly picks up the phone and tells Chloe to put her mother on the line. She hands to phone to me and is staring at me full of expectation. It's cute, in a way.

"Miss Willows, my girlfriend is taking Chloe to the zoo and they would like to take Lindsey with them," Chloe's mother tells me. I'm not curious, but I still wonder how I missed that Chloe's mother swung both ways as well.

She takes my silence as hesitation. "They will have her home before dark. I just want Chloe to bond a little with my girlfriend, she has been a bit distant lately and, well, she wanted Lindsey to come too."

"It's ok, Miss Turner…" Before I can continue she cuts me off.

"Please, call me Christine."

I smile in the phone, "and I'm Catherine. It's ok, I will drop Lindsey off in half an hour."

Christine thanks me and hangs up.

"Well Linds, it looks like you are going to the zoo," I tell her with a smile. She climbs on the couch and jumps into my arms to thank me. I love that little girl! It always amazes me that such simple things can make a child so happy. I have to admit that I miss that time sometimes.

"Oh mom, you are the best!" Lindsey says before she kisses my cheek.

I tell her to change her clothes, and before I know it she is upstairs rummaging through her closet. Looks like it's going to be a day of sleep for me instead of a day of Lindsey, but we'll spend some more time together tomorrow.

Half an hour later I drop Lindsey off at Chloe's place. Christine insists I have a coffee, seeing her girlfriend isn't there yet. She is a very nice woman. I've only seen her twice before at school and I wonder why I never paid more attention to her. I finish my coffee and thank Christine for inviting me in. As I drive down the street to get home I could swear I see Sara's car driving into the driveway, but it must be my imagination. Sara's just haunting my thoughts again and besides, half the city owns the SUV's we drive.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** Hustle and Flow (6?)

**Author:** Maaike

**Pairing:** C/S

**Disclaimers:** See chapter 1.

**A/N: **Thanks to Emma for doing the beta work! This one is from Lindsey's point of view!

I love my mom. I mean, she can be a party pooper sometimes, but today she let me go to the zoo with Chloe and her mom's girlfriend. I haven't met her mom's girlfriend yet, but hey, how bad can it be? If she is boring, Chloe and I can just run away and tell her to meet us somewhere or something.

To top it off, my mom took me shopping earlier and got me this really cool new shirt. Now Chloe only has to convince her mom to buy the same shirt and we'll be like twins. How cool is that! When my mom drops me off at Chloe's place, Chloe's mom invites my mom in. I hate when moms do that kind of stuff, I mean they are only gossiping about us. In a way it would be totally cool if my mom and Chloe's mom became best friends.

While my mom and Chloe's mom are talking in the kitchen, Chloe is showing me her iPod. She tells me her mom's girlfriend gave it to her. Maybe my mom should get a girlfriend.

My mom leaves-but not without giving me a kiss and a hug- which, by the way, is totally embarrassing. I'm not five anymore. Just minutes after mom leaves, I get the surprise of my life.

Chloe's mom's girlfriend, whose name I still don't know, parks her car in front of the house. The car seems familiar but hey, I remember the weirdest things. As the woman steps out of the car, I could swear I hear my jaw hit the floor. Well, I'll be damned! Oops, I didn't think that. I kinda don't know what to do or say at the moment. How do I react? I already know her.

Man, I don't think I've ever been this shocked in my life. I always thought she was into her boss, or even into my mom. It really seemed like that sometimes. Oh. My. God. My best friend's mom is dating Sara Sidle, my mom's co-worker.

Don't get me wrong, Sara is very cool. Hehe, come to think of it, I think she is scared of me. Whenever I'm at the lab, she starts to stutter to my mom. Maybe she is afraid mom will ask her to watch me or something, I always thought it was hilarious. Somehow I think now that maybe she isn't afraid of children, since she actually offered to take us to the zoo. Or was it Chloe's mom's idea?

Chloe apparently said something to me because she is poking me in the side. I guess I drifted off or something. I mean, this is like shocking. Should I tell Chloe I know Sara? There is no need to, as Sara walks into the living room to get us. She suddenly looks sick, but I guess she is just as shocked as I am. Shall I just introduce myself and pretend I don't know her? Or shall I fake being sick so mom can pick me up? Mom would know what to do, I'm sure of that.

Chloe squeals and runs over to Sara to thank her for letting me come along. I guess she didn't notice the weird situation. Chloe's mom, however, is looking at me as if I turned into an alien. I can't help but stare at Sara in awe. Maybe she knows what to do.

Sara smiles at Chloe and gives her a hug. Not like the hugs mom gives me, but more like the hugs I give to Greg before I leave the lab.

Chloe takes Sara's hand and pulls her towards me.

"Sara, this is...," she starts.

"Lindsey Willows," Sara finishes. Chloe looks up at her in awe, finally she got the picture.

Chloe's mouth is hanging open as she looks at me. "You KNOW Sara?" She asks me in disbelief.

I can only nod.

Sara looks at me. When I look back at her, she smiles at me. Sara hardly ever smiles and I like the feeling it gives me. She is trying to make me feel comfortable. I like Sara.

The rest of the day seems to go by easily. It goes by without a hitch. I knew Sara was nice, but I never knew she was this nice. Chloe is so lucky that she has Sara. I wish she was dating my mom and not Chloe's. Sara bought us ice creams, but not in the way normal adults do. She just gave us the money and let us go to the ice cream wagon by ourselves! That was so cool! We got to pay by ourselves and Chloe and I were so proud.

I never thought Sara could be so cool. I just thought that since she worked at the Crime Lab she would be a nerd like that Grissom guy, but she is actually very cool. She knows a lot of things about the animals. It was like the first time in my life I had fun learning stuff. I'm so glad I'm not an elephant! Did you know they are pregnant for like, 22 months! My mom told me how she wanted me to come out after only 9 months. I can't even begin to imagine how an elephant must feel. I'm going to tell my teacher about this on Monday.

When we get back to Chloe's house I give Sara a hug and thank her for the great day. Chloe is all proud of her mom for having such a cool girlfriend. Well, I'm proud of myself for having a friend as cool as Sara. I have to find a way to convince her to spend some time with my mom and me. I'm sure my mom would love it.

Chloe's mom tells us we can play in the backyard for a bit. Chloe and I go outside, but I know what her mom is doing with Sara, it's not like I'm five! I don't understand adults. I mean, what's so fun about kissing? I kissed Ryan once and it wasn't anything special. It was like kissing my grandma, apart from the fact that Ryan is a boy.

Chloe tells me Sara promised to work on her princess castle with her. It's actually just a tree house, but who am I to judge?. At least Chloe HAS a tree house. Just as we are talking about Sara, she comes outside.

"Hey girls, are you two having fun?" She asks.

"Yeah, I was just telling Lindsey about the princess castle!" Chloe replies before I can say something.

Sara smiles and looks at me. "Do you want to help us with building it?"

I look up at her and nod. Did I say Sara is cool? She isn't just cool, she is awesome!

"Chloe, I have to go, I hope you had a nice day."

"I had a great day, thank you Sara," Chloe answers, giving Sara a hug.

Sara looks at me as if she doesn't know what to do. I hug her and tell her she should hang out with my mom and me sometime. Maybe I shouldn't have said that because she turns beet red. Maybe she likes my mom. Hehe. When someone likes someone else, they always turn red when you talk about that person.

Sara turns around to walk back inside but I stop her.

"Sara?" I ask. She looks at me like she is scared.

"What's up, Linds?"

"Do you want to hang out with me and mom sometime?"

"I'd love to, but I don't know if your mom wants to." She pauses to take a deep breath and then continues, "Linds, could you not tell your mom that you went to the zoo with me? She doesn't know about Chloe's mom yet."

I nod. "It will be our secret," I say to her. See? She treats me like a grown up. Of course I can keep her secret!

Sara winks at me before leaving. After she leaves, Chloe and I go inside to watch the new Barbie movie. I don't like Barbie, but Chloe does so I watch it with her.

Halfway through the movie mom arrives to pick me up. Thank God for moms! This movie is so boring.

We go home quickly, and on the way home I tell her about my day. I don't mention Sara at all, she will be so proud of me. When we get home mom orders me to bed right away. Oh well, you can't have it all. As I am getting ready for bed, mom is still talking to me. She is very interested in Chloe's mom's girlfriend, which is odd.

"So, what's her name?" My mom asks.

"It's Sara, mom!" Oops, I did not just say that.

I guess I did because mom looks at me like I grew two heads.

"Sara?" Is all she says.

Uh oh, I'm going to be in trouble. I just wanna go to sleep and never wake up. I won't survive this!


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** Hustle and Flow (7?)

**Author:** Maaike

**Pairing:** C/S, S/OC

**Disclaimers:** See chapter 1.

**A/N: **Thanks to Emma! And I would also like to thank everyone for their reviews! It really encourages me to write more. I'm still fairly new to the whole fanfic writing, I'm glad you guys like it! And to set things straight, I'm a girl ;)

Shit. Goddammit. Motherfucker.

Sara is dating someone. And that someone is not me.

Suddenly Lindsey starts to cry. I probably upset her with my reaction. I gather my angel into my arms and whisper soothing words to her.

"I'm a bad person mom," she mumbles in between sobs.

I gently rock Lindsey back and forth.

"You're not a bad person, sweetie," I assure her, kissing the top of her head.

"I am. Sara is going to be so disappointed in me," she says before another fit of tears are rolling down her cheeks and on my shirt.

Damn Sara for making Lindsey keep this a secret. Of course she was going to tell me, for a child like her this is huge. Damn Sara for dating Christine Turner.

Lindsey's crying has subsided and she is almost falling asleep in my arms. Times like this make my heart swell, I love my little angel. I quickly walk upstairs to take Lindsey to bed. Today was a big day for her, she must be exhausted.

I plop down on the couch with a bottle of wine. I was going to the kitchen for just a glass of wine, but considering the situation, I might need the whole bottle. I thought that Sara would come back for more once she got her crush on me out of her system, but she is bedding some other woman instead of me.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I do want more from her than a good roll in the hay. A really good roll in the hay. I fill my glass again and empty it in about the same time. I need to talk to Sara. I only have to figure out what I'm going to say to her.

After I've finished the whole bottle of wine I decide to call Sara. I have to talk to her and it can't wait until tomorrow. I dial the number that has become very familiar. I hardly have to think about it. My finger just moves over the keypad as if it's the most natural thing in the world.

Normally Sara picks up after two rings, but now it takes longer. After the seventh ring, she finally picks up.

"Sidle," she answers with a raspy voice.

Shit, she is probably with Christine. I didn't think about that.

"Hey it's me". Smooth, Cath. Very smooth.

"Erm Cath, now is kinda not a good time," she says. Her voice sounds hoarse.

"You're fucking someone else, aren't you?" Dammit, Cath! It's out before I realize it.

"Cath, please," Sara pleads.

"Don't "please" me, Sidle! I heard all about it!" I shout into the phone.

"It's not what you think," she says. She almost sounds scared.

"Lindsey told me, Sara. Did you really think she was going to be able to keep such a big secret? She is just a little girl!" I shout as if I have to cover the whole distance between us with just my voice.

"Cath," she says again. "Hang on."

I can hear her discussing with someone even though she has put her hand on the phone. A woman. It's probably that damn Christine Turner. I hear noises and suddenly she is back on the phone again.

"Fuck you Catherine," she sounds very pissed off now.

"That is the problem here," I say, laughing on the inside at my very stupid joke.

"You're drunk, Cath," Sara almost hisses into the phone.

"Yes I am. But I'm very much aware of what I'm saying," I answer.

"I think we should talk when you are sober," Sara says calmly.

Ok, at least she doesn't sound pissed off anymore. That's a start.

"I want to talk to you now Sara," I try to sound as serious as possible. This can't wait.

Again I hear muffled speech on the phone. Sara is talking to someone.

"Look Cath, I'm kind of busy…"

Before she gets a chance to finish that sentence I'm shouting in the phone again. "You are busy fucking someone else!"

She lets out a deep sigh and hangs up. I throw my phone away and start crying. What the hell am I crying for? It's not like I'm jealous. I mean, I can have everyone I want and I don't really want Sara, do I?


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** Hustle and Flow (8/?)

**Author:** Maaike

**Pairing:** C/S, S/OC

**Disclaimers:** See chapter 1.

**A/N:** Sorry it took so long. Lots of things happened in RL and I went on holiday to Spain. I hope you guys are still interested in this story! Special thinks go out to my beta, Emma.

My life has taken a turn in a whole new direction lately. Normally if I'm not at the lab I'm at home, but lately I've been spending a lot of time outside of my house. First with Catherine, which ended up being a big fat mistake on my part, and now I spend almost all my free time with Christine and her daughter Chloe.

Chloe was a bit hesitant at first, but after I took her to the zoo yesterday she totally turned around. She thinks I 'hung the moon', to use the little girl's words.

I didn't know what was happening to me when I saw Lindsey standing in Chris' living room. Chloe asked if her best friend could come along and I had said yes, not knowing that Lindsey Willows was Chloe's best friend. When I saw the little Willows my first instinct was to run. I was actually going to, but Chloe was hanging on my leg before I regained my senses.

Lindsey was obviously shocked as well, but the little squirt regained her composure very quickly. Thank God, because it really helped stop the awkwardness. We ended up having a great day together. I've always liked Lindsey. She is a very bright kid.

I promised Chloe to help her restyle her tree house into a 'princess castle', but I had to go into work. Grissom had paged me. I reluctantly left Christine and the girls to go to work. I have to say, even though it was very awkward in the beginning, I'm starting to like this family lifestyle.

Now I'm driving to Christine's house. Fortunately helping Grissom out didn't take too long- it was my night off, after all. I should get a gold star for going in anyway.

This relationship is still very new and I feel my stomach doing summersaults as I'm turning into her street. I don't know if I could love her. I mean, love is a big word, but I definitely like her. I like being with her. I like the way she holds me. I like the way she kisses me, but most of all, I like how she is so patient with me. I know I'm testing her patience. It's been three weeks and I still haven't slept with her, even though we did get very close once. It just doesn't feel right yet.

I'm glad I got Lindsey to promise not to say anything to Catherine yet. She would be so pissed off if she had to hear something like this from Lindsey. I'm going to tell her myself, I just haven't gotten around to doing that yet. For some reason I haven't had much time alone with her lately. Not that I mind. I need to get over her. That's a lot easier said than done, though. I keep thinking of her, of our time together. She is such an amazing woman.

I shake my head to exorcise Catherine from my thoughts. As I get out of my car, Christine is already standing in the doorway to greet me. It's so nice to come home to someone who cares for you. I gently kiss my new lover on the lips before walking inside.

"Hey babe," she says with a seductive smile.

I love her smile.

"Hey," I reply.

I know she is up to something. The way her eyes twinkle, it just gives away everything. I like that about her, there is no secret side. She doesn't hide anything from me.

I hang my jacket up and walk towards the living room. Suddenly I feel Christine hugging me from behind, whispering something in my ear.

"Hmmm," she purrs, "someone is looking hot tonight."

I gulp. She does her sexy purr almost as well as Catherine can do it.

I turn around to kiss her. I have to get Catherine out of my mind. Her lips are so soft and they are very willing to let my tongue slide through, into Christine's sweet mouth. As I gently squeeze her ass, she moans into my mouth.

Christine pulls me onto the couch. I mumble Chloe's name in between kisses, worried we will wake the little squirt up.

"At her dad's place," Christine mumbles back before attacking my mouth again.

Oh, so we are home alone. Nice.

I slowly unbutton her blouse without breaking the kiss. Her skin feels so soft. I try to focus on the feel of her while I move my kisses down to her neck. This is probably as far as we have gotten before, necking like teenagers on the couch, on her bed, in the kitchen and in the pool in the backyard.

Christine moves up a little and looks at me. Her eyes are dark with desire and the look she gives me is sending shivers down my spine. I wish Catherine would look at me like that; not just with desire, but also with love. She smiles at me cockily while she unclasps her bra.

I just sit there, staring at her. She is beautiful. I'm about to move forward and taste the newly exposed skin, but I'm stopped by the ringing of my cell phone. The shrill sound of my ring tone is answered by two groans, Christine's and mine.

I'm turned on and agitated. I hope it's not Grissom calling me in again, because I will seriously kick his ass if it's him. Without looking at the caller ID, I pick up.

"Sidle."

"Hey, it's me," the voice on the other side of the line says. Shit, it's Catherine.

I look at Christine, who is motioning for me to hang up. God, the way she looks at me.

"Erm Cath, now is really not a good time." When I address Catherine by her name, Christine looks up at me. I think I'll have some explaining to do after this phone call.

"You're fucking someone else, aren't you?" Shit, Cath is drunk. She couldn't have picked a worse moment to call.

"Cath, please," I plead, hoping she will come to her senses.

"Don't "please" me, Sidle! I heard all about it!" She shouts at me. I look at Christine, but fortunately she hasn't heard what Catherine said.

"It's not what you think," I try. I don't sound as confident as I wanted to sound. This catches Christine's attention. She looks at me questioningly. Dammit.

"Lindsey told me, Sara. Did you really think she was going to be able to keep such a big secret? She is just a little girl!" She shouts at me.

Shit. Lindsey. She knows. I don't think I've ever seen or heard Catherine while she was drunk. Why did she get drunk in the first place?

I sigh. I guess at least I can talk to Catherine now. Even though it's not the best moment, it was my fault for not telling her in the first place.

"Cath," I start. Then I decide that I do not want to discuss this in front of Christine. "Hang on," I say before putting my hand on the phone.

"I've got to take this call," I tell Christine.

She pouts at me. "Do you really have to? You're not being called in are you?"

"It's a personal matter, I really have to take this," I plead, hoping she will not get angry with me.

"Whatever," she says, buttoning her shirt.

Shit.

I get up anyway and walk into the kitchen for some privacy. Damn you, Catherine! First you break my heart and now, when I've just started getting over you, you are doing it again! Who does she think she is?

"Fuck you, Catherine," I say, a little bit harsher than I had intended.

"That is the problem here," she replies. I can't believe she thinks this is funny!

"You're drunk, Cath," I almost hiss. I'm getting very close to being very pissed off.

"Yes, I am, but I'm very much aware of what I'm saying," Catherine answers. This only shows she is further gone than she thinks. She is making a complete fool of herself.

"I think we should talk when you are sober," I say. I do want to give her that chance.

"I want to talk to you now, Sara," she says as if it's the most urgent matter on the planet.

"Sar, what is taking you so long?" Christine startles me. She is leaning against the doorframe. She looks sad. I think she knows.

I hold up my finger. "One second, babe, I'm finishing up."

Christine sighs and turns around. Damn, I have a lot to make up for after I hang up.

"Look, Cath, I'm kind of busy…," before I can finish my sentence, she cuts me off.

"You are busy fucking someone else!" She shouts.

I sigh. There is no talking to Catherine. No matter how much I care for her, Christine is more important at the moment. I don't want to hurt her. I hang up without saying anything.

As I walk back into the living room, my heart is beating in my chest. I never thought something like this would happen to me. I actually feel like I am cheating, while Catherine was VERY clear in telling me she didn't want me.

"Hey babe," I say to greet Christine.

I can see in her eyes that it is no use. I guess I better start talking.


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:** Hustle and Flow (9/?)

**Author:** Maaike

**Pairing:** C/S, S/OC

**Disclaimers:** See chapter 1.

I'm seriously lacking in the talking department. I know that, hell, the whole world knows that. And explaining a situation like this is definitely something that I'm not going to do. Christine is just going to have to trust me on this.

"I've got to go," I say as I button up my shirt.

Yes, I was pissed off with Catherine. But I was also worried about her. Some part of me still cared way more about her than I should.

"That was Catherine Willows, wasn't it?" Christine asks. We both know the answer to that question and in her face it shows. She is angry. She probably found out I know Cath because of my reaction to Lindsey. I guess I look really guilty because when our eyes meet, she sighs.

"Where do you know her from?" She crosses her arms in front of her chest, another sign that she is angry. I've seen her do it when Chloe crossed the line.

"Work," I answer, while I look for my jacket.

"Did she call you about work?" She raises her voice, probably without even realising it.

"No," I don't feel like explaining right now. I need to help Catherine.

I look at Christine, preparing myself to say goodbye. I don't think I've ever seen her like this, she seems so angry.

"So, she calls you about a personal matter and you don't know how fast you need to get your ass over there?!?"

Okay, I think she is jealous. Does she know about Catherine's sexuality?

"She needs my help with something," I say calmly. I hope that if I stay calm, it will rub off on her. I don't want to fight.

"And what about me, Sara?" she asks, moving closer to me, "don't you know I need you here?" Her voice lowered. This time she sounded more desperate than angry, I have to admit that this scares me.

I'm at a loss for words. I didn't expect her to say this. Instead of saying something, I kiss her gently. For me it's a lot easier to say something with actions than with words.

Christine pulls back and moves her hands to rest on my hips. She looks up at me and smiles. I can see in her eyes she is still insecure, probably about where she stands.

"I'm sorry, Sara, I just..,"

I cut her off by placing my finger on her lips. "Shh," is all I say before leaving her to stand in the living room.

I look back once more before leaving. I take a deep breath once I get outside. It seems that this crisis has been averted just in time. I'm just going to help Catherine. I'm just going to talk to her and then I will return to Christine. I promised Chloe I'd be there in the morning to help her bake pancakes.

This whole thing suddenly got a lot more complicated. What if Christine finds out I used to date Catherine? Oh God, I hope Lindsey won't tell Chloe about that. I start to panic, but then I realize that Lindsey doesn't know. With a sigh of relief I park my car in Catherine's driveway.

As I stand in front of Catherine's door, all kinds of scenarios are going through my head. I have no idea of the state I will find Catherine in. I just know she sounded very drunk. Oh God, Lindsey is probably at home. I hope the little girl is still asleep.

"What the hell are you doing here."

I guess she noticed I'm here. She opens the door and lets me in. It's even worse than I thought. My heart sinks at the sight of her.

She is still wearing the same clothes as before, but only now they are wrinkled and stained. It looks like half of the wine she drunk ended up on her clothes. Her hair is messy, just like it always was after our extensive fuck sessions. But only now I know it's not from having sex. Her mascara is all over her face, she has been crying.

"I came here to help you Cath, you sounded like you needed someone," I say as I take my jacket off.

"I don't need anyone, Sara, I'm fine," she says. I would have believed it if she didn't slightly slur.

"Come on Cath, let's get you to bed," I say as I guide her to her bedroom.

There is no way I can talk to her now. Not that I had planned that, but we should at least wait until she is sober.

"Ah, trying to get me into bed already, aren't you?" She smiles that sexy smile of hers.

"Yes, I'm going to get you into bed, but just you, I'll be leaving after that," I reply. This would have been funny if I wasn't in so much trouble.

As I help her taking off her clothes, the smell of alcohol fills my nostrils. It's almost sickening, how much did she drink?

"Cath, you need to take a shower. You wouldn't want Lindsey to smell you like this in the morning," I tell her.

She laughs out loud. "What do you care?"

"Come on Cath, work with me please," I plead.

"I hate you, Sara, you know that," she says as she looks me straight in the eye.

It hurts to have her say that. I don't know where that came from all of a sudden. I just hope she doesn't mean it.

"Let's get you into the shower," I say as I help her into the adjoining bathroom.

How am I going to do this? She can't really shower in her underwear and I don't think it would be a good idea if I see her naked. Fortunately, despite the amount of alcohol she consumed, Catherine is still coherent enough to realise I feel uncomfortable.

"I can shower myself, thank you very much," she says as she makes her way to the shower.

"I'll be out here waiting, call me if you need anything," I say as I quickly get out of the bathroom.

What did I get myself into? When I heard Catherine's voice on the phone, it seemed like a good idea to come over. But now I'm actually here, I wonder what the hell has gotten into me. Why would I leave Christine, a woman who wants me for me, to help out Catherine, a woman who just wants me for the sex. I'm just looking for trouble.

Christine is not stupid, she will find out. I'm being unfair to her. But then again Catherine is my colleague and I'd like to see her as a friend as well, she needs my help. Everyone has their bad days, right? I'll just go back to Christine later and make up for leaving like I did.

As I sit on the bed, I feel like the walls are closing in on me. This whole room smells of Catherine. She smells so good. It was actually one of the first things I noticed about her.

I look around her room and see several pictures of Lindsey and Catherine, at the beach, at a theme park, at Lake Mead, at the lab's Christmas party. There is a picture of our whole team. There is one picture of her and me, talking at one of the parties we held in the lab, it catches my attention because I don't recall it being taken.

"That was last year when we celebrated Lindsey's birthday at the lab," her voice startles me. She sounds a lot more coherent than she did before. I guess the shower has sobered her up a little.

"I don't remember it being taken," I say, avoiding her eyes.

"Lindsey did it. She thought it would be cool to have a picture of just you and me," Catherine moves in front of me.

She smells so good. I can't help but look up at her and smile. I'm sure that Lindsey will become an investigator later, or maybe host of a dating show. But she certainly has a nose for those things.

"Thanks," Catherine says as she takes my hands into hers. She looks embarrassed.

I get up and smile at her again. She still has a huge impact on me, this is bad.

"No problem, you should get some sleep," I say as I guide her to the bed.

Not that she really needs the help anymore, but she still is a bit unsure on her feet. I have never seen her drunk before. Normally she is very good at keeping her composure and her liquor. Catherine Willows is a woman who knows her boundaries. She crossed them knowing she was going too far.

"Sara, I..," she starts. But I don't want her to talk right now. I shake my head and she stops talking.

"Not now, Cath, you are drunk," I take a step back while she crawls into her bed.

"Thanks for coming here, you didn't need to," she says. She knew I would come. That's probably why she called me in the first place. She knows damn well what effect she has on me. And she is not afraid to use that knowledge. Damn her.

"It's ok," I reply. Dammit Sara, it's not ok. She shouldn't be doing this to you. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow at work," I say as I turn around. I have to at least try to show her she isn't affecting me as much as she thinks she is. But damn I can't lie to her.

"Come here for breakfast?" She asks, looking at me as if someone just kicked her puppy.

"I can't," is my answer. She knows where I'll be going, and where I'll be in the morning.

"Oh yeah, you have to go back to fucking that other woman," it sounds crude. She might as well shove a dagger into my heart.

I try not to let it show though. She was the one who didn't want me. I shouldn't feel guilty for going to someone who does want me. But this time, I can't pretend it doesn't hurt me. I reached out for her. I helped her, even though she didn't ask me to. And this is the thanks I get?

A single tear escapes and rolls over my cheek. I refuse to let her win, not this time. The voice in my head tells me that she is drunk and she doesn't know what she is saying. But Catherine Willows always knows what she says.

"At least she cares," I say before leaving the bedroom.

I hear Catherine shouting things at me, but I'm not listening. I guess this means the end of our friendship. Or what was left of it anyway.


	10. Chapter 10

**Title:** Hustle and Flow (10/?)

**Author:** Maaike

**Pairing:** C/S, S/OC

**Disclaimers:** See chapter 1.

I throw my jacket on the couch. It looks like Christine has already gone to bed. I don't blame her, though. I've been a downright bitch to her. I can't believe I put Catherine before her. I'm such a sucker for that woman.

Before I go into Christine's bedroom, I check in on Chloe. The little girl was exhausted when we came home. Her empty bed reminds me that Chloe is at her father's place. I chuckle, who would have thought I'd be getting along well with children like this?

I quietly close the door to Chloe's room and head for Christine's. I hope she will still let me in after what happened. My sneaking around the house was for nothing because Christine is sitting up in her bed. I'm not sure yet if that is a good or a bad thing.

"Hey," I say, not really knowing what else to say. I feel really stupid right now.

"Hey," she replies. I guess she doesn't know what to say either.

She pats the spot next to her on the bed. She wants to talk. I can do that. I think I've sorted myself out just enough to be able to talk.

As I sit next to her, she moves closer and rests her head on my shoulder.

"Let's not do that again," she says before placing a kiss on my neck.

"Chris, I..," I start, I sincerely want to apologize.

"Shhh, baby, let's not talk," she says before claiming my mouth.

Ok, let's not talk then.

While her tongue is demanding access to my mouth, she is crawling on top of me. Before I know it she is straddling me. It just got incredibly hot in this room. I'm a bit hesitant in the beginning. We've done this before, only last time we got stopped by Chloe knocking on the door. Since Chloe is not around tonight, it might mean we will be taking a step forward in our relationship. A huge step.

"Chris," I don't want to do this if I can't focus one hundred percent.

"Shh, baby, I want you," she whispers, ignoring my plea.

"Chris," I say again, more insistent now.

She stops kissing my neck and looks up at me. What I see in her eyes worries me. She is scared. Does she really need me that much?

"Sara, what's wrong?" Even her voice sounds scared.

"Are you sure?" I ask her, but I'm the one who isn't sure.

Christine chuckles. "Sara, honey, I'm a big girl, I think I'm way past that," she says as she gently strokes my stomach. "Are you sure?" she asks me.

To be really honest, I don't know the answer to that. Yeah, I want to, she was definitely turning me on. But am I sure? No.

She raises her eyebrow. "Sara, are you asking me this because you are not sure?"

I feel myself starting to blush. Great. Now she thinks I'm not sure. Which I'm not. Dammit.

"I just. I do want to talk," I say. And I do. I don't want to walk around feeling like I'm cheating on either woman, because I'm not. This is driving me crazy.

"Look, Sara," she says as she rolls off me and sits next to me, "I freaked earlier. I'm sorry about that."

She looks me straight in the eye. Something I never really liked. No matter what I do, my eyes always give me away.

"Baby, is there something bothering you? What did Catherine want?" She is firing questions at me all of a sudden.

As I sit up more, she crawls onto me again. "Sara?"

"I'm not good at this," I say as I move my finger between us, indicating I mean relationships.

"Sara, baby, we've been doing fine. What do you mean?"

"I'm not good at talking," I say. I want to blurt out that Catherine is my ex-fuck buddy and that I'm confused, but I'd better not.

"That's ok. You know I'm not pushing you. You were the one who wanted to talk," she says as she takes my hands into hers.

She is so incredibly sweet. I wonder what the hell I did to deserve that. Not two hours ago I was treating her like shit.

"I'm confused." There, I said it.

"About what?"

Oh boy. What have I done? Now I'm going to have to tell it all.

"Sara, what happened to you? Why are you so scared of moving further?" Christine has taken my face into her hands and is looking at me intently.

Oh no. We are not going to take that trip down memory lane. No way.

"I just don't have such a good track record," I can hear my voice is breaking. I hope she will let me get away with this. I really do NOT want to go into my past.

Christine kisses my lips gently. "Don't worry about it, baby. I mean, look at me. I've got an ex-husband, which is probably the biggest mistake of my life. Apart from getting Chloe out of it," she says with a smile.

For a moment, she just looks at me as if she is trying to read my mind. "I know there is more than just a bad track record. I can see it in your eyes. But I won't force you to talk to me. You tell me when you are ready ok? And if that means no sex until then, we can wait. I mean, I can show you how I feel in other ways," she says, her hands gently playing with my breasts.

God, I really don't deserve this. She is way too good for me. I close my eyes and just enjoy the feeling. I guess we can talk about Catherine later.

"Sara?"

"Hmmm?" I'm enjoying her touches way too much to answer properly.

"Why did Catherine call you?"

Ah.

"She needed my help with something," I say, my eyes still closed.

"Ok."

Before I know it, she is kissing me full on. Her hands are in my hair, on my neck, my shoulders and my breasts. It's hard to keep track, but it feels pretty damn good. Suddenly she stops. I open my eyes to see what's up. She is looking at me, puzzled.

"How long have you known Catherine?"

"About 5 years now. We've been on the same shift since I came to Vegas," I answer. I wonder where this is going.

"So you know what she is like?"

What does she mean, "what she is like"?

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she has got a reputation," Christine is hesitating. I can hear it in her voice.

"What reputation?" Is she saying what I think she is saying? What the hell?

"I've heard she sleeps around a lot."

"What?!?" Ok, that didn't come out right.

"Well, I've heard things when I was picking up Chloe from school."

"And you are telling me this because…?" She is not going to badmouth my Catherine. Err, Catherine.

"Well, I wanted to know if it's true."

"I don't know. It's not like Catherine and I are best buddies. When I'm at work, I work," I can't let her know I'm pissed off.

"I was just wondering if it had to do something with her calling you," Christine looks straight at me again.

I look back at her. Where did this come from all of a sudden? What do I say? Fuck.


	11. Chapter 11

**Title:** Hustle and Flow (11/?)

**Author:** Maaike

**Pairing:** C/S, S/OC

**Disclaimers:** See chapter 1.

**A/N:** This chapter is for Amanda, because she will read ;)

_I didn't know how fast to drive home. She had been flirtatious all night, 'accidentally' touching me. When she kissed me, I knew she knew I was hers. That was what she was like, she claimed people. She had the power to. Not that she really needed that power tonight. I was more than willing to be hers, for tonight and a long time to come. She was mine, sitting next to me in my car, running her hand over my thigh._

"Sara?"

Christine's voice wakes me up from my daydream.

"Where did you go just now?" She asks me as she notices I'm back in the real world.

"I..I just remembered something," I really need to sort myself out. I can't keep on doing this.

I have been with Christine for three weeks now. Three very nice weeks. Yeah, thoughts about Catherine would pop up every once in a while, but not like they are doing now. These are not thoughts; these are complete recollections of what happened between us. I thought I was getting over her.

"What did you remember?"

"Catherine…I..," I stumble. What happened to think first, then talk?

"You slept with Catherine!" Christine blurts out.

I guess my "deer in the headlights look" gave me away. I suddenly feel a stinging on my cheek. What the fuck? Did Christine just hit me? I look at her in complete shock.

"I thought you were different. I thought you didn't want to sleep with me because of something that happened to you, but you are just like the rest of them. Fuck you, Sara!" She shouts at me as she keeps hitting my arm.

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Christine, please calm down," I say, hoping she will calm down. Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. You sure you didn't want her to get angrier?

"Damn that whore, do you know she slept with my ex-husband? Now she is doing it again! When I get my hands on her I…."

I grab Christine by her arms and look her right in the eye.

"Christine! Calm down," I say, waiting for her to respond to me. She has totally freaked out. Dammit, did Catherine really sleep with her ex-husband?

"Look at me Christine," I plead. This has gotten totally out of hand. Now she thinks I slept with Catherine. Dammit. I would never cheat on anyone. I know how much it hurts.

Tears are streaming down Christine's cheeks and she is sobbing loudly.

"I didn't sleep with Catherine," I emphasize "didn't" to make myself clear. "Not since I have been with you."

This seems to calm her down a little. She is looking at me now, waiting for more. What else am I supposed to say?

"So, you did sleep with her?" Christine asks. Fortunately she is calmer now.

"Yes, I did," might as well go all the way now. "But it was a mistake. A one-time thing that will never be repeated. I would never cheat on you, babe. Never." And that is the truth.

"So that's why you were ready to bolt out of the door when you saw Lindsey," Christine states matter-of-factly.

"Lindsey doesn't know, but yes," my heart swells as she smiles at me.

"I'm sorry," she says as she kisses my cheek. "I just.."

"I know," I say. I know now. Poor Christine. "I'm sorry too. I should have told you."

"I'm glad you told me now," she looks up at me. She raises her hand and gently caresses my cheek, "I'm so sorry," she says while avoiding my eyes.

I put my hand on hers. She looks at me as I take her hand and place a gentle kiss on it. "It's ok."

I'm glad we got this cleared up. Even though this conversation has worn me out, I feel satisfied. I just want to hold Christine and go to sleep.

"I'm sorry," she repeats as she moves closer to me.

I lie down and gather her in my arms. "Really, it's ok."

"I shouldn't have doubted you, Sara," she says.

"And I shouldn't have given you a reason to doubt," I reply while kissing the top of her head.

Christine wraps her arms around me and closes her eyes. "I'll make it up to you," she says with a sleepy voice.

"Hmmhmm," I reply, too tired to say something.

She kisses the crook of my neck, "Goodnight, baby."

"G'night."

The next morning I'm woken up by Christine, who is playing with the hem of my top. Funny, normally I'm the one who wakes up first. How long did I sleep?

"Good morning, beautiful," I say as I open my eyes.

"Hey yourself," Christine says, placing a kiss just next to my belly button.

I doubt my top rode up that far during the night by itself. I sure am awake now, though.

"How is your cheek?" She asks as she moves on top of me.

"Fine."

"Do I need to kiss it better?"

What kind of question is that?

"Of course," I say with a grin. "Come to think of it, my lips are hurting too."

Christine hits me playfully as she kisses my lips. The kiss quickly becomes more heated and I wrap my arms around her to pull her even closer. I pull up Christine's top and let my hands roam over her back. She is very toned. She told me she worked out sometimes, but that was the understatement of the year. I love the feel of her back.

Christine stops just as I am about to take it further.

"As much as I enjoy this, Chloe will be home soon," she says, looking at me apologetically.

I groan but let her go anyway. We wouldn't want Chloe to find us like this. Just as Christine exits the bathroom, I hear the front door.

"You go shower, I'll get the door," she says, giving me a quick kiss.

I decide to take a quick shower. After all, I have to make pancakes with Chloe. When I come downstairs, it takes less than ten seconds for Chloe to attach herself to my leg.

"Sara! Sara! Sara!"

"Hey you," I say with a smile.

"You stayed here!"

"I promised you I would be here, didn't I?" I say, more to Christine than to Chloe. Christine's smile tells me the message was received.

"Pancakes!" Chloe shouts as she grabs my hand and drags me into the kitchen.

The morning passes by very quickly. I made Chloe's day when I let her make her own pancake. Actually I just did it so I could steal a kiss from her mother, but hey, the little squirt didn't notice. I really enjoy spending time with those two, but on the other hand it just feels wrong.

I'm on my way to work now and I'm damn proud of myself. No thoughts of Catherine all day. Well, apart from right now. I'm going to have to face her at work. I once thought there could be something more between us, but, like most of my dreams, that one got crushed. I just have to move on and focus on Christine and Chloe. I'm not going to lie. I still have the small hope that Catherine changes her mind even though I know it won't happen anyway.

I park my car in the lab's parking lot and see Catherine is already there. I just have to try to avoid her.Easy.

That resolve went right out of the window the second I set foot into the building. I didn't even get the chance to hang my coat.

"Sara!" Catherine shouts from the hallway.

Oh brother.

I look up, acknowledging that I heard her.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

You just had your second. I wish I had the balls to say that to her face. Before I know it I'm shoved into Catherine's office and she closes the doors behind me. Did I mention Catherine is very persuasive?

I try to look everywhere except into her eyes. Those big baby blues have caused enough trouble already.

"I'm sorry."

I look up at her. Bad idea, but I'm just so surprised. I expected a lot; for her to yell at me, to call me names, but not to say sorry.

"I was a complete bitch. I'm sorry, Sara."

She comes closer to me and wraps her arms around me. Is she hugging me? Is she for real? When I come to my senses I decide to at least return the hug and we stand there for a few minutes. The weirdest emotions came over me. She smells so good. She feels so good. And God, our bodies are a perfect fit.

"Can I make it up to you? How about I invite you for breakfast after shift?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Title:** Hustle and Flow (12/?)

**Author:** Maaike

**Pairing:** C/S, S/OC

**Disclaimers:** See chapter 1.

I need some time to process her question. I withdraw from her embrace and look at her. I wonder what the hell she really wants from me. Am I interesting now because I am taken? Why is she so eager to make up? Normally I am the one who has to crawl back to her after one of our fights.

"I'm just asking you to have breakfast with me, Sara," Catherine says.

"Ok," what else can I say, really? Saying 'no' to Catherine Willows seemed impossible.

Catherine smiles at me and moves towards me. Without realising it, I take a step back. I hear her sigh, but I am not going to let her get to me that easy.

The ringing of my phone interrupts the silence.

"Sidle,"

After hearing the reply I look up at Catherine and walk out of her office. I don't want her to hear this.

"Hey," I say softly as I smile into the phone.

"Just thought I'd call you. I was wondering what your plans were for after your shift," the voice on the other side of the line says.

"I'm going for breakfast after shift. I could come by after though."

"I have to work. I just thought we could have breakfast together," she sounds so harsh.

"Chris, please."

"I'm not stupid Sara," Chris says in a cold tone of voice.

I sigh. "Yes, I'm going for breakfast with Catherine. I don't need to justify that to you now do I?" I sound like I don't care, but I will not let Christine make her feel guilty for going to breakfast with a co-worker.

Christine sighs deeply, "But can you please understand I'm not too keen on the idea?"

I understand, I really do, but she needs to understand me, too.

"How about I come by tonight, before I go to work?"

After the conversation I close my phone and walk back into Catherine's office. She is sitting behind her desk, ruffling through some papers.

"Sara, you're staring at me," she says with a smile.

"I'll see you after shift," I say before walking away. I'm not going to give her that satisfaction.

After shift I'm sitting in the break room reading a magazine. Catherine has been out on a scene almost all shift and she still isn't back. I decide I'll wait half an hour, if she still isn't in by then, I'll go home and get some sleep.

I wonder if Catherine knew Paul Newsome was married.

Greg comes by and asks me to help him with something. Figuring I still have some time to wait, I agree and followed him to one of the lay-out rooms.

Greg is getting coffee when I hear the clicking of Catherine's heels. I know they were hers, just by the way she walks.

"Hey," her voice sounds husky.

"Hey," I smile at her. She looks exhausted.

"Thanks for waiting," I just shrug at that. It was the least I could do. _You should be with Chris_ my mind told me. But I needed to get my friendship with Catherine back on track as well. I have to work with her, after all.

"Come on. I'm buying," she says with a smile before walking off to the locker room.

Greg comes back right at that moment and I leave him with his work. I'm sure he can figure it out by himself. He is a big boy, after all.

I evaluate the breakfast I just had with Catherine as I drive home. It was probably the most awkward situation I have ever been in, but fortunately after a while we fell back into our old habits. Catherine seems to be avoiding talking about personal things, afraid that I will start talking about my girlfriend. I just can't believe she is jealous. I mean, she didn't want me at first, and now she is jealous because I have someone else? Sometimes I really don't get women.

What scares me is the impact Catherine still has on me. And what's even worse, she knows damn well how she affects me. Fortunately she is not using it against me. My thoughts are interrupted by my phone vibrating on my hip. A text message.

_Really enjoyed breakfast. We should do it more often. X_

'Do it more often?' What the hell? As soon as I get my mind out of the gutter I realise she meant have breakfast more often. Jesus. I need sleep.

When I get home, I go straight to bed. It doesn't take me long to fall asleep, after all I haven't had much sleep lately. Not that I sleep much in general, but I've been lacking too much sleep from the situation I got myself in.

I wake up with the idea of surprising Christine. She would get off work at 5 PM and I know Chloe normally goes to the neighbour's after school. I am going to pick Chloe up, take her to the park and then fix some dinner before Christine gets home.

Chloe is overly excited to see me. I would have never thought that me, Sara Sidle, would smile at the sound of a squealing little girl. Chloe attaches herself to my leg again and reminds me we were supposed to work on her princess castle. So my plan to go to the park changes into some serious do-it-yourself in Christine's backyard.

I let Chloe clean up a little while I cook. The little squirt is seriously growing on me.

"Sara!"

"Yes?"

"I need help with my homework," at seeing me roll my eyes she adds, "please."

"I just need to finish this up and then I'll help you." I suddenly feel my heart thumping in my chest. This whole thing is getting a little too domestic for me. This is too fast, too soon.


	13. Chapter 13

**Title:** Hustle and Flow (13/?)

**Author:** Maaike

**Pairing:** C/S, S/OC

**Disclaimers:** See chapter 1.

_We need to talk._

I hate it when people say that. When I hear it, my heart picks up pace and starts pumping the blood through my veins so hard they throb. I start sweating and I feel my cheeks flush. Even though I _know_ I didn't do anything wrong, I always feel like that. It feels like I did something really bad and I got busted. When I actually have done something wrong, or just think I have, it's even worse. When I think I know what it's about, I almost start confessing immediately. Bad move, because I'm hardly ever right when it comes to predicting a subject. Sometimes I wonder where it comes from. I guess it's just how I am.

Right now is one of those moments. Christine wants to talk to me and, from the looks of it, she is not happy.

"Where is Chloe?" I hope the little squirt can save me. I suddenly really don't feel like talking. I'm not a people person, but I can feel a bad vibe.

"She is with her father tonight, so you and I could talk."

Oh boy.

"Do you want a drink, sweetie?"

She is calling me 'sweetie'? That's not good. I shake my head. I don't want a drink. I want to know what's going on and get it over with. I sit down on the couch and try to get my breathing back to normal.

When she walks into the kitchen I sigh. Of course, she is making a drink for herself. She is letting me stew, that's what it's called. Hmm, it does feel like I'm on death row.

Christine returns with a cup of coffee and sits down next to me. She puts her cup on the coffee table and takes a deep breath.

"Sara, this is really hard for me to say." Yup, there we go.

Why do I feel like I'm on the verge of tears?

"I really care for you, Sara, I really do," Somehow I feel a 'but..' coming.

"But…"

Yup, there it is.

"I can't give myself to you like I did anymore, Sara."

Oh God! She is going to dump me. What did I do? Fuck.

"I just can't do it anymore, knowing that you are not giving yourself fully to me."

Hell no, this is not happening. There are so many things that are going through my mind that I need a second to think about what I'm going to say. Somehow Christine notices and puts her hand on my arm.

"Sara, please let me talk."

Unconsciously I jerk away my arm from the contact. Both our eyes become big. Hers because she is shocked and mine because I wonder why the hell I'm shying away from my own girlfriend's touch.

"I could fall in love with you, Sara, but not when you are not giving yourself to me. When you are with me, you're not really here. I can see you drift off sometimes. I don't know where you are going, and I don't think I _want_ to know." Christine pauses for a second and takes another deep breath. "We can't move forward in this relationship if you're not with me."

If the things she told me aren't making me feel bad enough, the silent tear that is rolling down her cheek will. I feel so stupid. I have been walking around, moping about what I am supposed to do. I mean, choosing between women, it's a problem of luxury. And me, Sara Sidle, the most insensitive person in Vegas- no the whole fucking world- didn't even stop one second to think about how Christine must feel.

Crap on a stick.

How could I be so selfish? God, I've been using her! No, I genuinely like her. That's not using someone, is it? I do want to be with her. I do get butterflies in my stomach just thinking of her. Kissing her triggers things in me that aren't very PG.

But I won't have sex with her.

I guess that's what gave it away. Jesus, now I know why I didn't want to have sex with her. Deep down I knew I wasn't giving myself. Dammit, it's because of Cath.

"Sara?"

Christine is probably wondering what I'm going to say. Me too, actually.

"I'm sorry."

I'm too ashamed to look up at her.

Christine leaves me no choice when she takes my face into her hands and lifts my chin. I feel tears coming up, but I'm _not_ going to cry.

Much.

The look in her eyes. It just breaks my heart.

She wipes my tears away with a brush of her thumb. She makes me feel safe, and the way she is wiping my tears is almost erotic. I close my eyes and move forward, pressing my lips onto hers. I try pouring all of my feelings into the kiss, just so she knows I do want this.

At first, she responds, but then I feel her tense up and she pulls back, breathing heavily. "Sara," it doesn't sound very convincing for a plea.

"Please, Chris," I say before pressing my lips onto hers again. I need her to know.

This time, she doesn't pull back. Instead, she is tugging on my shirt. I can feel her hands all over me, my sides, my chest, my abdomen. I seem to drown in her touches. I feel another tear slowly running down my cheek, but I pay no attention to it. I guess it's just a tear of relief.


	14. Chapter 14

**Title: Hustle and flow (14/?)  
Author: Maaike  
Disclaimer: see chapter 1  
A/N: This is Catherine's POV. Sorry for being away for so long, I totally blame real life**

Sara's look after I invited her for breakfast, made me feel like I had asked her to do something really inappropriate. I really messed up the friendship we had going by seducing her. I wonder if she is happy now.

Who am I kidding? Of course she is. She has a girlfriend, someone to come home to and a cute little girl who adores her to boot. Dammit, that should have been me and Lindsey, not some other woman and her daughter. Why did I let her go?

Look at me, being all sappy about this. I know very well what happened. I didn't want to commit myself to her. She wanted more than just sex and I said no. I also know very well what is going on now. She is more interesting because she is taken.

Yes, that's it.

I get out of my car and slowly walked to my house. I'm exhausted. Not only my case is at a standstill, so is my relationship with Sara. The first ten minutes I felt like getting up and walking away. Me, Catherine Willows. I _never_ walk away, but this morning I was seriously considering it.

To describe the first minutes as 'stray', would be an understatement. It would be the biggest fucking understatement of the year, actually. Sara was one of those people that came with a manual. If you didn't read it, you'd never be able to really connect with them. I managed to connect with her without reading the manual. But instead of using it for a friendship, I took the meaning of 'connecting' just a little too literally.

At first there was this uncomfortable silence hanging in the air. Out of sheer desperation, I started talking about work. If you want to get Sara Sidle talking, talk about work. She always has something to say about some case and it makes her relax. That's a lesson I've learned over the years.

After a while, we fell back in our routine of 'girl talk', if I can actually call it that. In other words, we were having a nice conversation. I really like the 'outside of work' Sara, not that there is anything wrong with her demeanour at work, but she just seems more relaxed. And the more relaxed Sara was, the more interesting she became. At least, to me.

I throw my purse on the table in the hallway and make a bee line for the kitchen. Lindsey will be up soon and I want to surprise her with breakfast. My mother has once again dozed off on the couch. I told her a million times to take my bed, but she is just too stubborn.

While I'm making breakfast, my daughter comes into the kitchen, still half asleep, but she is there. She actually got up on time without me having to wake her. Guess miracles still do happen.

Then I realize it's probably because Chloe is coming here today. Christine asked me to watch her for a little while. I can handle that, I'm a grown woman. I can handle the fact that she is fucking the woman who should be mine. Right, not going there.

Just when I'm about to ask Lindsey to help me do the dishes, the doorbell rings. She smiles sweetly at me, knowing that she got saved by the bell. The sound of two squealing girls is my cue to walk towards the door.

To my surprise Christine is standing in my living room, telling the girls to go play outside. I raise my eyebrow at her, wondering what the hell she is doing here.

"Lindsey let me in," she says as if she is apologizing. This is awkward.

I smile at her and motion for her to sit down.

"I wanted to talk to you,"

Ok, that's simple and direct. I can deal with talking, no problem. As long as she avoids…

"…about Sara."

Shit.

I just stare at her and she takes it as a cue to start talking. Suddenly I'm not so sure if I can do this. If she is here to gloat about being with Sara, I don't want to hear it.

She leans closer to me, "I was wondering how it feels."

What does she mean? And why is she invading my personal space?

"How what feels?" I look at her, wondering if she has gone totally crazy. What is she playing at?

"Knowing someone else is fucking the person you're supposed to be with," she gets up and smiles sweetly at me, it makes my stomach turn. What is she telling me?

I get up as well, moving closer to her, my hands resting on my hips. What the hell is she thinking, acting like this in my house.

"What are you talking about?" I really have no idea what she means. Apart from the she is fucking Sara. That bitch. I really feel like punching her in the face, but my curiosity gets the better of me and I let her talk.

"You don't know? Does the name Paul Newsome ring a bell?" She steps closer, "You fucked my husband and now I'm fucking your woman."

Oh my God.

"Out!" I shout at her, "Get out of my house, now." I don't think I have been this angry since….since as long as I can fucking remember.

I slam the door the second she is outside. Fuck. Christine is using Sara to get back at me. I didn't even know Paul was married.

Letting myself fall back on the couch, I lean my head back and close my eyes. I can't win this. If I tell Sara what Christine just told me, she won't believe me and probably hate me for it. If I don't tell Sara and she finds out by herself, she will hate me for not telling her.


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Hustle and Flow (15/?)  
Author: Maaike  
Pairing: C/S, S/OC  
Disclaimers: See chapter 1.  
A/N:

It had been three days since Catherine's peaceful morning was disrupted by Christine. She had been thinking a lot about what to do, which was odd because Catherine always knew what to do. During shift, she had seen Sara and she was tempted to walk over and tell the brunette what she knew.

When she was sitting in the break room with her coffee, she thought about the many different ways she could kill Christine. That woman was using Sara to get back at her. Catherine didn't really mind that she was trying to hurt her; she'd probably do the same, but she would not pull someone as innocent as Sara into it. That's what pissed her off to no end…And the fact that she had started to take an interest in Sara may have played a small part.

It also wasn't helping that Lindsey was talking non-stop about her newfound best friend. Apparently Sara was even cooler than Chloe, and Catherine had to hear about everything they did together down to the smallest detail. From what she heard, it seemed like Sara was really putting effort into forming a bond with Chloe. Even though it was incredibly endearing, Catherine only felt more guilty. If Sara was trying to bond with the little squirt then it probably meant she was serious about her relationship with Christine. The last thing Catherine wanted was for Sara to get burned again.

When Catherine picked Lindsey up from her sister's place, she was telling her about another awesome day they had. Sara had the day off and had taken the two little girls to the mall where they did all the cool things teenagers do. Lindsey was very impressed by Sara's 'dance dance revolution' skills and she was intent on getting the game for herself so she could practise for the next time Sara took them to the mall.

All this made Catherine decide it was time she talked to Sara. She could no longer just watch how Christine was breaking through the brunette's walls only to hurt her.

That night, just before the start of shift, Catherine found Sara in the break room nursing a cup of coffee. "Hey," she greeted the brunette casually as she made her way to the coffee machine to get herself a cup. Sara looked up and acknowledged Catherine with a faint smile. It was a start, but the older CSI wasn't fully satisfied. She sat down on the couch next to Sara and turned towards her, "Wanna go for breakfast after shift? There are few things I'd like to discuss with you." Catherine was extra careful with phrasing 'I need to talk to you,' because she knew it made Sara nervous.

Sara's head shot up and she just stared at Catherine for a bit, not sure what Catherine wanted to discuss. When she snapped out of it, she nodded, "Ok."

It felt like a small victory. Sara didn't even say that she needed to discuss it with Christine. Catherine smiled and took a sip of her coffee. "Meet me in my office after shift." It was out before she realized it and she hoped Sara wouldn't take it the wrong way.

Fortunately, Sara didn't mind or didn't pay too much attention to Catherine's remark and just smiled at the blonde. She was just about to say something when the others came in, followed by Grissom who was carrying the assignments for the night.

Slow nights always dragged ass, but this night was topping it all. Catherine was sitting in her office doing paperwork and it seemed time was going backwards instead of forward. She sighed deeply as she stared at her watch. Two more hours until the end of shift. Sara was still out at a scene and Catherine hoped the brunette would be back on time. She was glad she finally made the decision to tell Sara about Christine, but she was also dreading that moment. Sara would probably say she was lying, yell at her and run away, but no matter what, Catherine felt she had to tell Sara.

A knock on her door startled her from the daze she was in. She shook her head to shake off the remnants of her sleepy state before she told for the person to come in. To her surprise it was Sara. Was it that late already? Had she dozed off?

"Hey, you ready for breakfast?" Sara leaned against the doorpost, wondering why Catherine seemed so distracted.

"Erm, yeah sure, hang on," Catherine said as she started clearing the paperwork from her desk. Most of it went back into the 'in' box. She hadn't been doing very much in the past two hours, and as a result her 'in' box still held more paperwork than the 'out' box.

An amused smirk appeared on Sara's lips as she watched Catherine clear her desk. It dawned on her that the blonde had probably dozed off. "Come on, sleepyhead," she said with a grin as Catherine got up. The blonde shot her a mock death glare before following Sara outside.

They had been sitting at the diner for ten minutes now. Sara was happily munching away on her food while Catherine was just pushing it around her plate. She wasn't sure how to start, how to introduce the whole story. At first the brunette CSI hadn't picked up on it, but now she was paying closer attention she noticed something was up and it made her nervous.

"Cath?"

Catherine looked up into Sara's eyes. She could see the brunette was nervous. The blonde immediately cast her eyes down again. "I have to tell you something you're not going to like." With that she looked up at Sara again, who seemed very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"What do you mean?" Sara wasn't sure if she wanted to know what Catherine had to say. It probably had something to do with their sexual escapades and Sara was still dealing with that.

"The other day...I found something out and I think you need to know." Catherine sighed, there was no easy way to go about this but she knew she had to stop circling around the subject like some hungry vulture. It would only make Sara think she was enjoying this.

The blonde CSI watched Sara's expression carefully as she told the brunette what she knew. She had never seen so many emotions pass on a person's face in such a short time. The expression 'the eyes are the window to the soul' most definitely applied to Sara. If you knew her well enough you could read her through her eyes, but with all the emotions passing by, Catherine wasn't sure if the brunette believed her or not.

"...and she asked me how it felt to know someone else was doing the person you should be with," she finished. After that she just looked at Sara, waiting for the brunette to react. Catherine didn't get scared much, but right now she was terrified.


	16. Author's note

A/N: Thanks everyone for the reviews and reactions. I know it's been over a year, but I'm happy to let you guys know that I've picked this story up again and I'm writing again. I know it's been a long wait and I'm sorry for that, life got in the way and I lost my will to write for a while, but I promise I'll finish the story this time around!


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